More ramblings in Scotland

My mum and my brother live in Edinburgh right next to the city zoo...In the mornings before i opened my eyes i could here all the animals going bonkers...It sounded like i was in the rainforest in Brazil but when i wake up its rainy grey Scotland....some mornings you could hear howler monkeys shrieking and if the wind was low you could hear the lions doing their loud growl .......

One day i went over the street to check it out.....

Saw this wee bugger.......He was one of the only animals i saw the whole time there...everything was asleep or just couldnae be arsed...........

The other animal i saw wanted to kill me ...........This panther was incredible but he singled me out and kept coming at the glass wall.......It got to the point where i had to leave cos other tourists were staring at me

This dodgy cat would not let me out of his sights.............I got all self conscience and left .........thats the first time a panther ever embarressed me ..........

After the big cat humiliated me i went to the monkey house where i heard the raddest statement while i was in scotland.......I was staring at the orangutangs going mental on the ropes and having tons of good antics when a family came up next to me.....a full on real deal pikey crew......insane 80s hairdoo's and fantastic gear combos of leather jackets and jogging bottoms....all the kids had huge lines of snot mixed in with the ice cream still on their lips...you get the idea....

They set up camp next to me and started watching the monkeys swinging on the tires and wrangling each other............

When one of the wee kids yells out in the thickest accent - " HYE MA , THAT GINGER YINS GOAT THE OATHER YIN IN A HEIDLOCK......PURE MAGIC KEN "

translation - HEY MOM THAT MONKEY WITH THE REDDISH HAIR HAS THE OTHER MONKEY IN A HEADLOCK....THATS AWSOME............i lost it and walked off..........

Pure Magic is right.......

Staying on the topic of kids in Scotland this happened near my street one morning.....

Kids in the U.K roam the streets in their dozens like wild hyenas......they are everywhere...on every street corner. You can spot em a mile away. They are are usually doing fuck all (nothing) They all have 10 hairstyles rolled into one ......everykind of hair dye going with all kinds of semi mullets and perms on the go and the shinier the clothing the better......all tracksuits and swishy breeks (pants). Its kinda hard to tell the dudes from the chicks...and they all gotta have pristeen white trainers (sneakers).....these kids are all about 12 years old up to 18........They move around like schools of badly dressed piranhas........Strength in numbers........

Theyre always fuckin with people and anything around em.......the nearest ATM to my house is always broken cos kids crammed the card and money slots with fish n chips and other bullshite......The ol brick throught the window is a favorite and happens all the time..........I was amazed by these gangs and crews of kids........it was way more wild than the zoo....

Anyhow back to the photo.......some jakey (punk bitch) wee kids had blown up a mailbox ....there was shite all over the road .....it mustive been mental when it went off.........

This story has absolutly no point or punchline

I guess today i learned that being in a scottish zoo must be utter bollocks and that kids are wee gobshites