Went on a total solo tour de francisco today..........

It was like some Clash of the Titans or some Argonauts shite

Streets are mucho alives in the Mission

The penny farthing clown ruled

The city is one big museum of modern art

Had an great lunch with Sallyfornia and Schmitty. High Speed Production's finest. Good banter as i interviewed Sally about her newest buckaroo....

After pounds of pasta i was fueled up for my journey to the centre of the earth

Right into my epic adventure two scumbag punters on Haight street had a shootout in a convenient store. I guess around midday is a good time as any to shoot someone random at point blank. Cops had the area locked down and everyone was held for questioning. All in all none too convenient for anyone

When the blue guys opened up the street again i pedaled through the forest of ramen noodle trees

Across the marshes of Broshambo to the waterfalls of Alice Bowie.........

Through the deadly fields of carnivorous plants

Waded over the Seven Sacred pools

Across New Holland where all the fancy lads do awful things to each other with their wooden clogs.......

Trekked down along the Berlin Wave. The only man made object visable from Mars

I'd been alone on this journey so long i started to take photos of my shadow. Robinson Crusoe fever had started to set in.....

Crawled across the vast barren desert of Lucozade

Scaled up the cliffs of Brover

To reach the lost ruins of Sutra Baths

Into the deep cave system where the ferocious Chupacabra lurks

Armed with only my house key i dove in.........

Climbed up to the Temple of the Laterd Saints. An old druid hot spot . You could get good wizards here back in the day. but like everything else these days ...shit is chinese !!

Onwards to the highest peak of Mount Mierda where the mighty singing bush grows

Where the magical golden glove rests. No mortal has ever smelled the glove and lived to tell the tale.

Down the treacherous path that no i phone application will help you on.........

I can see the bridge where all the sacrafices take place.......... im getting close !!

I feel like Man Friday......... i'm about to make a raft out of coconuts so i can get home in time for dinner..........

Got so hungry i tried to catch this giant ugly grey chicken...........but his getaway sticks were too fast for me.

Was so tired from my journey middle earth and beyond i almost got nailed by this trolly. Nailed by the gondola.....fuckin aces !!

Civilisation

The gate keeper Rowdy Noddy Piper was fast asleep so i got to pass without paying the toll of one gold coin.

Im almost home..... Im about to dive into the sidewalk and sleep for a week............

I got back and babysat young Nicko Rhodes. I figured its about time we bonded over some Eddie Murphy Dilerious. He absolutely loved it . And as i split my sides luaghing at Eddie's dick, pussy and homo jokes ........ my young amigo Nicko blew bubbles and was totally tickled pink with the first black man jiving around in a red leather suit he'd ever seen.............