There are certain days for certain places. Coming down to Venice beach on a sunday afternoon can be too much overloads on fragile brains from a heavy session on the piss the night before . But we did it anyways !! What intrepid arseholes we are........

Venice on a sundays - imagine all the Ozzfests, the Warp Tours , every Insane Clown Posse show and every college jock still clinging onto the fact that he was once a star back when he played ball for his highschool.......Imagine all those fantasticos all being at the beach at once . Its the biggest , most fascinating shit sandwich you could ever order. And just when you think you've tried every combo of mierda sandwich there is. Venice beach always , always comes up with new flavors of suck. Enjoy !!

In the no mans land of the sprawling sands of the beach we saw a crowd of a few hundred people. Thinking like every other curious jamoke we ventured out to have a butchers hook.

Its hard to tell in these photos but this is the biggest drum circle i have ever seen. Hundreds of people with any kind of instrament they could drag out onto the sands. The sound was deafening. It was a Burning Man beach picnic . Every kind of bizzarro and waywerd teen was out here and they brought all their best and worst drugs too. It was bananas. It was hard to get to the centre but in the middle it was like a beach discoteque for every freak and acid traveller in America. It reminded me a lot of that really crappy part in one of the Matrix movie where they all find Zion down below in the caves and its like a humongous techno orgy. Except this was middle of the day and 100% real. Everyone was out of their skulls out here. We saw a guy dancing himself into a hole in the sand . He literally was running on the spot so fast he'd created a thigh deep hole he was in. So out of it , oblivious he was sinking while hundreds around him were on some completely different other voyage. There were birds in bikinis wearing huge furry eskimo boots with hula hoops and all kinds of day glow trinkets and ravey nik naks smoking weed from sick coconuts . It was absolutely bonkerville out here.

It was hard to get photos of the real nutjobs in the centre of the circle. Took me a wee bit to mangle my ways in

This guy. wow.

This would definately be the crowd to meet an alien spaceship if it hovered over Los Angeles. Imagine travelling a light year and meeting these assholes? I'd vaporise us for sure and head back home.

The birdman of Alcatraz here was going berzerkers. Too many uppers for this shaman

Every kind of human combo was out here.

Gerry Garceeyalaterd was here and so were his shorts

Bring your kids out here. Fun for all the fam. Bring a drum . You dont even have to be awake to play it well. You'll fit right in but before you come out . Study everything about The Insane Clown Posse. Learn their ways and customs and perfect their dress code and youll be right as rain out here...........

Drumwise this was pushing it.

As promised i returned to the two headed freak show place. My curiousity got the better of me again and we all piled in to view all kinds of wackadoodle oddities such as this 5 legged dog. Yes this lucky wee scrapper had 5 legs. 2 seconds in the doors and this tour is off to a real cracking start. I already got my $5 worth with the dog

The museum was filled with jar upon jar of deformities and mutations. But they did have an alive 2 headed snake. I guess it was really rare from West Virginia ( why does that not surprise me) and there was an alarming amount of 2 headed turtles swimming in little tanks . Doesnt say too much for the earths water these days . Unless these guys have some scientists out back doing some cruel experiments and other siamese twin what nots. Who knows but man this place had some really weird shite on the shelves.

We milled around the museum for a minute gandering at all the crap.

Then this total radge started hammering a huge 6 inch steel nail into his skull

Yes folks . We watched this weird little fancy lad hammer a huge ass nail into his nostril. It was incredibly mental and really foul when he pulled it out and licked the nail. Good album opener though. He had the crowd definately fixed with that number. Total nailage. (sorry couldnt resist)

Then he brought out some electrical bird and sat her in some makeshift chair and flipped the switch. Zapping her with all kinds of high voltage. She seemed ok . She didnt look like she was enjoying it but that couldve been the fact that this was the 27th time she'd been blasted today. Anyways she lit a fire from her fingertips which was a pretty bro move.

After getting deep fried , FlameBitch then wooed the crowd with her limbs made of rubber. Honestly i have no idea how this part is possible. Her arm was folded , turned , stretched as it if was made of dough. Im amazed she can carry anything ever. I hated this part of the show. Her super powers were starting to scare me

While Gummo took a break , Homes started eating swords and huge daggers and cutlasses. I guess there are less than 50 people in the world that swallow swords. I can totally see why.

Then CircusRushmore blew up a 5 foot long balloon and preceded to eat the entire thing whole.

He crammed that thing in there and made funny jokes about it coming out of his bum. Thank christ it didnt. I'd have asked for a refund at that point. But no the balloon stayed intact and he pushed it around and we could all see the shape of it inside his throat. Like the guiness ostrich posters that every college dude has. With the entire balloon inside this guys guts he started pressing and squeezing on his stomach and ribs eventually popping the balloon. It was disgusting and impressive and i wondered how many balloons he shits out a day , but i didnt ask !!

In the 85 degree sun theres gotta be a good reason why this bendy bird has her face covered up. I was hoping it was one of those hairy mexican wolf kids or some other rare treat but i never found out. I gotta ask more questions. Theres always next time -

Aaaaaaah Venice - What a beautiful mess. Almost as good as Lindsay Lohan.

We left to search for people with only one head.

Nate and Mandreas . Venice to Society was fun as hell today.

This Juggalo beach party is over !!