Heading south today - back to the City of Angels.

I went for the Chinese bus from hell again. Its just too entertaining not to take. This trip was no exception. The bus picked up the biggest rag tag group of chinese ladies and me from downtown San Francisco. After the baggage and trinket ordeal the bus thundered off exiting the city limits. I sat in the first row of seats near the driver. Its just too mental and loud in the back of the bus. Plus i dont play Mah Jong. 2 minutes into the journey the driver turns around and in perfect mandarin starts jabbering away to me. From his expressions and lack of hands on the wheel i could pick up that he was looking for directions to LA. Fuckin magic. Ask the dude from Scotland for advice . Genius move pal !!

After a whole barrage of language sharades we got the bus to the highway and pointed in the right direction while the 60 old chinese raisins yelled at the top of their lungs in the back. Bloody hooligans man !! A few hours into the mission the bus didnt sound too healthy. Sounded like a world war two plane divebombing for ages. I had daydream nightmares of hanging out on the side of the road with these maniacs eating quail eggs and fuckin starfruits n shit ..........when a new chinaman got on the bus microphone and announced - HARRO HARRO , PLEASE I NEED BEEG FAVA OF PASSANJAA. THEES IS NOT OWAH BUS. WE BOWWO BUS FROM UVVA COMPAAHNEE. (i'd like to take a tiny sec to say i dont take the piss outta these guys on purpose. This is just how they sound. Its amazing ) Anyways the announcement went on . I couldnt tell if this guy was the bus leader or just the guy who had the most english. I dont even know why he was trying to speak english. I was the only idiot daft enough to ride this nickle n dime operation. WE STOP AT LESTAHLANT TO CHANGE DAA BUS. You gotta be fuckin kidding me? We were in a borrowed bus that was about to explode and were going to find another one somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Here we go !!!

All i could do was stare at the sky and prey to Bhudda and all the Llama dudes for a quick death

We pulled over at a Dennys restaurant literally in the ass end of California. Nothing for miles. Somehow by the beard Zues there was a bus in the parking lot waiting for us. They dont like to show their organisation skills but man the Chinese have it wired. They keep you hanging on a thread for ages though. New forms of water torture. They use buses now.

Quick switcharoo of passangers and bags and we were off again and no one seemed to care about the stolen bus we just used. Our new bus didnt smell of cabbages and didnt sound like it was going to implode. Onwards to the city

We made it to downtown LA in one piece, and i also learned so many new curse words in Chinese on the way. I'll be busting those out soon.

I wish i'd had the courage to take photos of my 60 new friends but man - Old ass chinese ladys scare the hell outta me. Their voices alone are like meat cleavers.

Thank you Chinatown bus for letting me live another day !!!